A Birth Story
Unlike most pregnant mama’s I wanted to keep this sweet baby inside as long as possible. I had so many little projects to finish up, meals to prepare, and Christmas to get ready. Not knowing how life with two littles was going to be, I felt like I needed to get done as much as possible before my commitment doubled. To avoid feeling too overwhelmed, I kept telling myself that if she came sooner than expected the world wouldn’t fall apart. I have a pretty awesome husband who could do anything that I needed him to and everything else could wait.
My doctor was positive at my appointment on Monday that I would have a baby before Friday the 20th. My Mom arrived on the Tuesday the 17th and we went full speed making and remaking nursery curtains, refinishing an entertainment stand, caulking the shower, wrapping presents, shopping, and running errands that I didn’t want to drag a toddler and newborn around to do in the next few weeks. Friday came but no baby. I was a bit relieved and we just kept working. Saturday I got a little carried away with cleaning and had Landon cleaning ceiling fans and light fixtures and Capri was helping me scrub the floors. So grateful they were being good sports about my extreme nesting. Sunday we took my parents around Old Town Spring and Capri got to visit Santa. Old Town Spring was even more charming trimmed in Christmas lights and decorations. I thought all the walking might help start labor, but still no baby. I sent my family to church and decided to stay home. I didn’t have an excuse for not going except that I just didn’t want to answer “why haven’t you had your baby yet?” over and over again. I don’t think people realize how anxious counting down to your due date or asking if you are having contractions can make a pregnant woman feel when she doesn’t have any control of the baby’s arrival. I got to be home alone and nap uninterrupted for possibly the last time in a long time. After I woke up from my long nap I realized I hadn’t felt the baby move almost all day. I concentrated really hard for the next little while to feel some movement and didn’t feel anything. I called the hospital and the nurse told me to lay on my side, drink a surgery beverage, ice cold water, jiggle my stomach etc. I did those things and waited the given amount of time and still didn’t feel movement. I started to panic inside and asked Landon to give me a blessing before going into the hospital. I was trying so hard to hold back my fear and tears that my entire body was shaking. My Dad joined Landon in the blessing and my Mom held Capri on her lap, it felt good to have them there. I was much calmer at the end of the blessing. Landon sent his family a message telling them we were headed to the hospital because I hadn’t felt movement from the baby all day and asked them to say a little prayer for us. Landon’s entire family was already together (minus us) at Val’s house. They all kneeled in prayer while Landon’s father asked Heavenly Father to watch over our sweet baby. We were so touched and felt their love from far away. When we got to the hospital the triage nurse hooked me up to the monitor. She asked me small talk questions while she tried to find the baby’s heartbeat. I stopped answering the questions because I couldn’t talk. I didn’t want her to talk either; I needed it to be quiet so I could hear my baby’s heartbeat. The longer it took the more the tears came. It felt like forever passed and even the nurse was getting a little flustered. Then we heard the little thump thump and I cried harder, but now for joy. It was such a relief! (Looking back now, her position probably made it hard for me to feel movement and the nurse had a hard time finding her heart beat because she wasn't where we thought she was.)
The nurse checked how far I was dilated and then had me wait 45 minutes and checked again. I began having strong contractions while I was hooked up to the monitor and they were only 3 minutes apart. She told me I could go home since I hadn’t dilated more in-between the two times she checked. I was so confused because my doctor told me to go to the hospital when I was having contractions 5 minutes apart and now she’s sending me home with contractions 3 minutes apart but told me to return if the pain got to be too much. I made it through the night waking only a time or two.
My doctor scheduled me for an induction Monday morning in the unlikely chance the baby hadn’t arrived. I called the hospital at 6:00am and they told me I could go ahead and come in at 7:00. When I arrived I was told that my doctor was in the hospital and wanted to break my water before heading to his office. We were going to get the show on the road quick! I hurried and changed into a gown, and then my nurse quickly did my intake paperwork, and hooked me up to an IV. My doctor came in and broke my water before I could even say hello…. Okay not that fast, but he didn’t check how far I was dilated, ask about my previous night with the triage nurse, contractions, etc. AFTER my water was broken he began checking things out and couldn’t find the baby’s head. He started saying things like “this is bad, this is really really bad.” Landon and I just looked at each other with wide eyes “what’s bad?!” After mumbling some more he said he didn’t think the baby’s position was head down and brought in an ultra sound machine to see exactly what he was dealing with. Kate was lying horizontal and the doctor said I had no choice but to do a C-section since my waters were broken. I was having a hard time taking in what just happened, it was such a whirlwind but when it sunk in that I was going to have a C-section I started to cry a little. I had so many emotions but realized being sad or angry wasn’t how I wanted to welcome my sweet baby into the world. I didn’t quite understand what just happened but since I couldn’t change that fact that I was about to have a C-section I wasn’t going to try and understand right then. I tried as hard as I could to relax and think about how excited I was to meet my baby. I had to wait for the operating room to become available and got anxious waiting especially since my contractions were getting very strong. Finally at 9:12am we left my room and headed to the operating room. The room was bright, cold, and stark, but I felt calm. The spinal tap worked fast, I tried to move my legs several times to be sure it was working! My doctor had a difficult time trying to get Kate out because of her horizontal position. He had go back and make my incision larger… I know right. I tried not to pay to much attention to what was going on, I wanted my memories to be pleasant and positive even though my doctor was mumbling some more while trying to get Kate out! At 9:29am I was told she was out and I just waited for a cry….. then there it was, she sounded like a little lamb. They nurses brought her over to my head as fast as they could. She was really here! I put my face next to hers and kissed her sweet cheeks again and again. She was beautiful and I wanted to hold her in my arms so bad. I was glad Landon could be with her while they finished getting all of her stats and finished putting me back together. It didn’t seem like long before I was done and heading back to my room to hold my baby girl. It was the moment I was waiting for, once she was in my arms I just melted. She was mine and my love for her was growing by the second. I wanted to tell her she was safe in my arms, how much I loved her, and that we were going to give her the best life we knew how. Somehow I think she knew, so I just welcome her with kiss after kiss on her little head.
These photos are some repeats from the video, but in case it didn't work they are here too.
^Christmas Eve and new Pajamas ^
^Just waiting to go home Christmas morning^
Charlotte came over and took these newborns when Kate was eleven days old. I'm glad she could make our house work for the photos, it was so nice not to pack up a newborn, accessories and all. When Charlotte left I wondered if we had any good pictures because my girls weren't cooperating and Kate wouldn't stay asleep, but she got a few super sweet ones.